What to get my wife for Mother's Day?

I have been racking my brain for weeks trying to come up with what to get my wife for Mother's Day. Should I get her jewels, or candy, or flowers? How about that lap top she's been hinting at? I don't think so. Jewels? Too expensive, plus she lost the first piece of jewelry I ever got her...I think she lost it on our wedding day. That was a wake up call - Note to self: No jewels for the wife. Candy? No, as much as she likes it...that's not a good idea either. I usually end up eating it all. Reminder to self - Get on the treadmill! Flowers? No, they just die after a few days. I'm more of a practical gift giver. I like to give things that you can use, not things that you want. I figure if you really want something, you can just go out and get it, why wait for your birthday, holiday, etc. If I had to wait for my birthday to get that new driver, I'd have to wait until the end of golf season to get it. I'd be staring at it all winter, imagining how nice it would be to use it.

So with a little more than a week to go, I was finally inspired after coming home from work.

It went something like this. "Honey, you home?" No answer. "Sweetie." (I don't really call her honey or sweetie, but you get the idea.) "Sugar!" Still no answer. The screen door is locked, but the window is down, so if she's home she should be able to hear me.

I decide to enter through the downstairs.

Enter downstairs. Laundry room light is on. (As an aside - I bought one of those motion sensor light switches. I figured I'd save some money on electricity, I even use a compact fluorescent bulb. Big waste of money, I say. The light only goes on for about six seconds. Just long enough to open the washing machine and throw a couple of things in before the light goes out. Now you're in the dark in the laundry room. You wave your arms frantically to try and trigger the motion sensor so the light comes back on. No luck. Now you have to walk across laundry room without tripping over golf clubs, tricycle, pile o' clothes, and other miscellaneous odds and ends.) I manage to find the light without killing myself and turn light the switch from "ON" to "Motion Sensor".

Next, I enter the basement. Two lights on, television, receiver, dvd player, computer and monitor all on. No sign of my sweetie! Head up stairs, stairwell light is on too. It's a good thing the light is on so I don't trip over all of the papers strewn across the steps, plus I can read the note on the back of the door as I get upstairs. It says "Please turn off all lights and appliances before coming upstairs. Sincerely, The Electric Company :-)" I crumple up the nice note and throw it down the stairs. I'm sure I'll slip on that piece of paper the next time I go downstairs.

Enter kitchen. Yep, that light is on too.

Walk through dining room to family room. Lights are off in both rooms (I've trained her so well.) I happen to glance at thermostat. It's set to 70 degrees. I look over at locked screen door, the window is open and it's 64 degrees outside. It reminds me of when I was little. I would come in from playing outside on a nice cold day and my mom would yell "Close the door! It's freezing outside. Are you trying to heat the neighborhood?" I'm no engineer, or cooling/heating specialist, but I'm pretty sure one cannot heat the neighborhood by leaving the door open with the heat on. But I digress.

I keep moving on into the living room. The television is on, but no one is around. Volume turned up to 11 (out of 10 for those of you Spinal Tap fans).

Go upstairs. No sign of anyone. My son's light is on and my wife's light on her bedside table is on too. Just great. I'm starting to think that she's mocking me.

I sit down on the couch and that was when I became inspired. I say out loud "Carbon offsets". What are Carbon offsets? By donating money to either a con-artist for environmentalist you can offset your "Carbon footprint" - the amount of carbon dioxide emissions that you generate. Now I'm not one of these "crunchy granola" or "tree-hugger" types who wants to rush out and protect every endangered fauna or flora, but to me this seemed like a great idea. It would help me sleep at night knowing that I'm doing good for the environment, and my wife can continue leaving on light and appliances, heck she could even chop down trees, burn leaves, and use aerosol spray cans.

So this is how I was inspired. I hope she enjoys the gift. I wonder if she'll like it better than the scale I got her for her birthday. (kidding)

On second thought, perhaps I need additional inspiration.

Thanks for stopping by. I hope you enjoyed your visit.

And Happy Mother's Day (in advance) to all of you Mother's!

Tax Freedom Day

Phew! We made it through another year. This year seems to be a little tougher than last year. Yes, I know it's only the end of April. But for some reason this year feels a little tougher than last year. Maybe it was the birth of my new tax deduction daughter towards the end of last year.

What could it be? Wait, I know. Did you know that today, April 30th, is "Tax Freedom Day" or "TFD"? What is "TFD" you ask? It is the day by which you have made enough money to cover your taxes for the full year. Wow, I'm so relieved, I've made it through another year, now the IRS can leave me alone. Eight more months of feeling like I live in a tax-free haven. Like living in the Cayman Islands, or so I imagine, except for the weather I suppose, and the beaches, and....well...you get the point.

That's the good news.

Now here's the bad news: "TFD" was two days later this year than last. That means we have had to work two additional days this year to pay our "fair" share of taxes. That's not very good news. We're headed in the wrong direction. I hope by the time I retire I won't have to work into next year just to pay this year's taxes. Geez, I hope I don't have to work into next lifetime just to pay taxes from this lifetime. That would be horrible! Imagine it: you're 110 years old, lying on your death bed, and the nurse says you have a visitor. You're expecting to see the Grim Reaper when in fact it's Uncle Sam saying you can't die yet. You have to keep working. Up and out of bed, you've got bills to pay, taxes in fact! Yes, you've been retired for 30 years now, but you have to go down to the local Mickey D's, or Wal-Mart, and apply for a job so you can pay your taxes before you die! It's one vicious cycle, because the more you keep earning, the more you keep owing.

I should clarify that April 30th is the National Average. I just found this list which has the state-by-state "TFD", and now I'm depressed. I live in Taxachusetts Massachusetts and that means I have to work another week to pay my "fair share" of taxes. May 6th is "TFD" here in the Bay State. At least I don't live in Connecticut. Those suckers have to work another three weeks! "TFD" for them is May 20th. Good news for those of you "fortunate" enough to live in Alabama or Oklahoma; you've been living in tax-free bliss since April 12th.

I wouldn't mind paying my "fair share" if I felt my money was being well spent, but that's a subject for another day. In the meantime, for those who have already celebrated your "TFD", kick back and relax, and for the rest of us, "Get back to work!"

Finally, for those of you who have already celebrated your "TFD", please share your experiences, and for those of you who have not yet, tell us how do you intend to celebrate yours.

Welcome to my blog!

If you're here, you must be lost. But while you're here, I hope to catch your attention, perhaps even dazzle you. My name is The Rookie, and I'm a blogger, a first time blogger that is, long-time user.

What do I hope to accomplish on my blog? I don't know, maybe create a place for guys, gals, and others to come and do, or not do, and just be.

I have to go, I am being called away, my little guy has an ear infection. Hope to be back soon. Hope you come back soon too.